• DaGman84

DaGman's Top Ten Funniest names in Football

Updated: Jun 10, 2021

The beautiful thing about the game is it’s not just the football side of things that keep us entertained and you can clearly see/hear this on our live shows (Pitchtalk Live every Monday night). We have so much fun and cover all aspects of the game, we like to tap into the serious topics of debate but also let our hair down (we'll for me it's my beard) and incorporate the side of the game that gives us giggles. The following segments “funny tweets and funny quotes”, “stuff of the week”, “What’s up with That!” These are all segments that tend to show the lighter side of the game and trust me we've been left catching our breaths on many occasions.

Now if you’re keeping up with all the FIFA stories, scandals, and the upcoming elections, you will have heard of a candidate called TOKYO SEXWALE…. Looooool! Like Really??? Yes Really! #TEARS Today this blog will be dedicated to those who bring so much joy to the footballing world with their well thought out/unfortunate names. I will be naming my Top Ten Funniest names in football! And please feel free to add any names you feel that are deserved to be on my list, just drop them in the comments section below. If you could also help to share this blog that would be appreciated too. The list is in no particular order of favorites to be fair anyone of these names would give me sh**s for giggles!

1. TOKYO SEXWALE – FIFA presidency candidate (could be president by the time you read this blog). He’s best known as a South African businessman, politician, anti-apartheid activist, and former political prisoner. If he was a player I'd bet LVG would want him in his Horny team!

2. PAUL DICKOV – Has to be a personal favourite, Ex Arsenal, Man City, Blackburn, Leicester City player among other sides. Best known for his spell at the Sky blues… but he’s best known to me because all them years back then in school his name was used as replacement swear word (“Why don’t you Dickov?”, “Dude you’re a Dickov!”).

3. ROD FANNI – First thing that comes to mind is DEPOL, do i really need to explain why?, Let’s just say just imagine being called Vagina or Pum Pum! It's got to be a hard one to take. (There’s a joke in their somewhere and in their too… Oh stop!)

4. LARS BENDER – German International who let’s just say probably doesn’t like bending over!

5. BERNT HAAS – former Sunderland and westbrom right back, having played for those two team I guess there were occasions where he lived up to his name.

6. DANNY DRINKWATER – When I first heard a commentator pronounce his name all that popped to mind was “Danny drinks what?” Ingenious I think not but at least I found it funny.

7. DEAN WINDASS – Just looking at that facial expression, it's not smelling good! :p

8. DAVID SEAMAN – Former Arsenal legend played in goal and fortunately for the gunners, the former goalkeeper wasn’t as slippery as his name may suggest!

9. BRIAN PINAS – Signed for Newcastle from Feynoord and never played a game for 2 seasons! Say’s it all really!

10. CHARLES N’ZOGBIA aka INSOMNIA – Not exactly a funny name as such but when your manager quite flippantly miss pronounces it, it becomes hilarious as hell! Joe Kinnear did exactly that when talking to the press about Charles N’zogbia and this didn’t go down to well with the player or those close to him.

G.Henry aka DaGman

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