• Straight Shootin' LJA

The English FA, UEFA & FIFA – The Moronic Trinity

Those of you who listen to Pitch Talk shows from 8pm (UK) LIVE every Monday night you’ll be used to hearing my voice in terms of Rants & tirades about the state of football but for this week I’ve got my ammunition. Straight Shootin’ doesn’t generally relate to guns in anyway but for this blog entry I’ll have to make an exception and point my guns firmly at the powers that be in domestic, European & world football.


Let’s take FIFA first and the fact they are run by a corrupt moron called Sepp Blatter, the man who in 2011 had a coronation, not an election (because an election has more than 1 person running for office by definition) to remain in power at FIFA as the president, the man who thinks Racism isn’t a problem in football, a man who if he had a brain he’d be out playing with it, as he’s borderline retarded. Apologies for going slightly off point but as I type my blood is boiling on this cold Tuesday evening, but it’s not Blatter I have my problem with today.


So, let’s move on to UEFA and Michel Platini, the man who can see football is crying out for video technology but this idiot doesn’t want to bring it in because he doesn’t want the game to become ‘Playstation football’. This is the same idiot who wants to bring down England’s champions league places down to 3, apparently so that ‘smaller teams’ can get some European revenue, but he hasn’t heard my idea of just bringing back the damn European Cup Winners cup, but anyway, my venom isn’t aimed at the man trying to battle Blatter for the biggest moron in football aka Michel Platini.


My venom is aimed squarely at our very own English FA and my reasons are plentiful and I will call their decisions, ‘mong moves’ for the sake of this blog. My first reason, the rule that dictates that taking your shirt off is a booking, what an utterly stupid rule, you’ve got dangerous tackles and shirt pulling that are bookings most of the time but I take my shirt off in celebration and I get booked...mong move no.1 by our FA.

Mong move no.2, undermining your own manager (Fabio Capello) to the point where he walks out on you when you’re trying to prepare for a major tournament, well done FA, another mong move successfully executed. If you’ve got someone managing your national football team it would be wise to let the man actually manage the team instead of making decisions and not even consulting him first before you go to the media and tell them the news.

Mong move no.3, going to bat for Wayne Rooney. The way the FA went to bat for Rooney was embarrassing on many levels, the shameless brownnosing of UEFA to get his ban reduced from 3 to 2 matches was an abomination, when Rooney clearly deliberately kicked a Montenegro player, but another successful mong move made.

Mong move no.4 is more recent, Shaun Derry of QPR having his red card that shouldn’t have even been a red card upheld along with a 1 match ban. Let’s set the scene, well, actually, the scene was set on the Pitch Talk LIVE show from April 9th 2012 (jump to http://ow.ly/a37JZ (itunes) for the podcast, You can also hear the podcast on podomatic – http://ow.ly/a37MG & mixcloud – http://ow.ly/a37MH ), but basically, Derry got a straight red card for pulling Ashley Young who dove to the ground like he’d been shot, even though Young was clearly offside when it happened, the Linesman was looking right at the incident at Old Trafford (of all places) but didn’t flag. Anyway, the reason this qualifies as a mong move, the FA have seen the footage, QPR appealed the red card and somehow in their infinite idiocy the FA uphold Derry’s red card so he serves a 1 match ban because of a red card that should never have been.

But anyway as my blood boils I have a final mong move, or a moron move, as it relates to the man I like to call ‘Moron’ Mario Balotelli. The reason I cite this is because Balotelli almost looked like he was trying to get himself sent off in the Arsenal v Manchester City match on Sunday April 8th 2012 with a catalogue of stupid and atrocious tackles, the least dangerous of which he got sent off for, and the worst of which went completely unpunished, referee Martin Atkinson deserves a moron of the week award along with Balotelli for not punishing the tackle. The FA take this as a mong move because it was a leg breaker tackle in which Alex Song was extremely lucky not to have his leg snapped in the 1st half v Manchester City, that the FA looked at & reviewed the footage, but because of this stupid ‘retrospective punishment’ thing where if the referee or an official sees an incident but does nothing about it the FA won’t take any further action, apparently because if they do take action it will undermine the referee’s authority. Pardon me for trying to understand these morons, but how can the ref/linesman/official see a leg breaker challenge and do nothing about it? That’s bad enough but the FA not taking any action is even more of a disgrace.

The FA need a wakeup call and the powers that be in football need to be ousted and soon, because their moronic mentalities, disgraceful decisions and good old boy network ways of working are ruining a game that we love. I would like to put myself Straight Shootin’ LJA (Twitter - @sslja ) and my Pitch Talk co-hosts – Da Gman (Twitter - @dagman84 ) & Gezzie Fizzle (Twitter - @apparentlyrich ) forward to run world football because I think the moron that was Jade Goody & the moron that is Katie Price (who if they had a brain between them they’d be out playing with it) could do a better job of running football than the borderline retarded Blatter, the idiotic Michel Platini and our own joke of an FA. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups, because these are the kind of people who seem to be the powers that be in football.


I’m Straight Shootin’ LJA & that’s my opinion.

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